This message is so powerful by itself, I don't even need to provide thoughts. I wish more women, girls, and even men would realize this. Confidence, and beauty, comes from within. It comes from believing in yourself as YOU see the person that you are.
Early into my therapy career, I learned that I could take songs and create groups from them. One of the first music therapy groups I facilitated (with the help of my amazing supervisor at the time) was processing the song "Moments" by Emerson Drive. It was a song I had heard once or twice, but not being a country music listener I hadn't had much exposure. After hearing the song for the first time, I was hooked, and have regularly used these lyrics in music therapy groups throughout the years.
As I consider life's "moments", I'm reminded of my own and how they've shaped who I am as a person today... moving across the state for college, ending a best friendship, getting married, letting go of unhealthy relationships, taking risks for my career. Each moment has both positively shaped by life and created consequences that cannot be changed. I also think of events to come, the reality of losing people who are close to me and having to find a "new normal". The above quote about life's moments being divided into "before this" and "after this" is so true as I consider who I was before and after difficult and life-changing events. Often times we don't realize the impact of a life decision... things can turn out much better or much worse than we'd imagined in our minds. No matter the outcome, I've learned to embrace the decisions that I make. Or, I'm at least working to embrace them. I'm learning that I make decisions based on the person I am today, not the person that I will become... and that as a result, I need not punish myself down the road if a decision or choice turned out badly. I'm also learning to be at peace about decisions that were made by others and affected me on the resulting end. For the most part, I'm learning that we all do the best we can given a particular situation.
There are times when we need reminders to do what we can for other people, but not to the extent of losing ourselves in the process. Admittedly, this has always been a challenge for me. Although I consider myself a selfish person when it comes to doing things for myself and on my own, I know that a bigger part of myself gives to others... and at times it can be difficult to find that balance. If you find yourself to be a giving person as well, when was the last time you evaluated the balance between giving to others and giving to yourself? Oftentimes I don't take inventory until I'm exhausted... which kind of defeats the purpose of doing so. It's healthy to take inventory on a regular basis. To think about how much you give and if you're doing so for the right reason and within the limits of healthiness. To think about how much you are loving and whether your heart is being protected. To think about how much you trust and to be sure that you're not putting yourself out there too much. To think about how much you listen, but to still maintain your own opinions. The last thing that any of us needs to to become burned out. Burn-out leads us to pulling back from everything in an effort of self-preservation... because we've given out too much and as a result, we're feeling depleted. If you see that happening for you, perhaps you could pull back a little bit. Say no to things that aren't fulfilling you in the way you need them to be. Evaluate your inner circle and determine who is worthy of staying. Set limits and boundaries for yourself regarding your time, talent, and abilities.
Give what you can. Love with safety. Trust who is worthy. Listen, but stay true to you.
It's easy to let people make decisions for you. It's easy to say nothing and let the chips fall as they may. It's easy to take a back seat and allow someone else to direct your life. But that isn't fair. It isn't fair for you to not stand up for yourself. For you to accept things as they are. To allow things to "just happen". Be active in your pursuit for happiness. Be aware of people, places, and things. Be vigilant in deciding who and what stays in your life. Don't be afraid to let things go. You are the CEO of your life. It's up to you on deciding how you live. Don't blame. Don't allow others to do things for you. Own your life.
