Dear stress...

When I worked at the hospital, a popular group to generate insight was "I've Got A Lot on My Plate" which involved a worksheet I created with a simple drawing of a plate on it, whereby I would encourage group members to write things down that contributed to feelings of being overwhelmed, emotionally spent, frustrated, and exhausted. After some silent working time, we'd process the items... identifying what each person could do to remove items off of their plate, invite other people to help with responsibilities, or setting goals on overcoming these issues. To me, it helps to put things down on paper as a physical representation of what is swarming around in my mind.

Now that I am in private practice and no longer leading groups, I tailor this discussion for an individual therapy session... but it's no less useful. In fact, during an individualized discussion there's bound to be more talk about the silent fears of giving up stressors, frustrations about not being able to let go of things, and discussion on how to address each item. We talk about whether they need to change their perspective on stress, or if they need to change their behaviors by saying no, setting boundaries, etc.

A common answer, and one that I've given lately regarding my own stress level is.... I don't want to give up anything. I think there are times when we have the perception of thriving during stressful situations. The perception being that waiting until the last minute generates some kind of hidden power to tackle everything at once. And while the feeling of accomplishment is great when it's over, I have to wonder sometimes if the pain is worth the price.

To me, it's not worth the mental anguish. The feeling of rush and worry. The exhaustion of all-nighters. The disconnect with family because of staying up late at night or avoiding others to finish projects on time.

If you need to break up with the stress in your life, join me in a personal pursuit to set boundaries, to seek out happiness, to breathe more calmly, to relax and reduce tension.\

Dear Stress, 
Let's break up.
It's not you... it's me.
I'm worth more than how you make me feel.