If life challenges show my strength, I sometimes I feel like I have the strongest anchor ever. :) This week has been a doozy, nothing short of stressful, and yet despite events that have presented themselves to me, I'm dealing with them better than I expected. Which either means that I'm delirious, or I am showing strength.
I hope and pray for strength.
The challenging times in our lives have a tendency to throw us off course. To test patience. To have us consider giving up. To tempt us into going in a different direction than our goals. Because facing issues is difficult and running away is easy, we often have to fight off these temptations. Burying my head in the sand, plugging my ears, and pretending everything is fine is not a solution, but an extension of the problem.
Challenges remind me that I'm not in control. When I most want everything to go well, when I most need everything to go well, a loop is thrown and I am face-to-face with acknowledging how little control I actually have over things in my life. In those moments I need to remember the importance of slowing down, taking a deep breath, and trying again. I need to remember to accept things, and focus on my attitude and response to stress.
I need to remind myself that I am strong.
That I can persevere.
That I can survive this storm.
There is a tribe in Africa and when someone in the tribe does something wrong, they take the
person to the center of the village. The tribe surrounds the person and
for two days, everyone speaks all of the good he has done. The tribe believes each person
is good, but sometimes people make mistakes which are viewed as cries for
help. The purpose for the two-day event, they say, is to reconnect him with his good nature.
In our culture, we are so used to focusing on the negative. We jump on the bandwagon when someone is down, shaming them to other people around us. Perhaps in an effort to be liked and accepted, we're more apt to go along with the crowd instead of stand up for the individual. To encourage others to see the good. And when it comes to ourselves, we're no better. One negative thought leads to another, which leads to another. Before we know it, we're in a cesspool of negativity, drowning in reminders of things that we've done wrong in the past.
How different it would be if we were reminded of the good...
In relationships, when your spouse forgets something... instead of reminding them sarcastically or in a cruel way, remind yourself of the times when they think of things that you don't recall. And offer grace.
At work, when a co-worker doesn't bring their "A game" to a presentation... consider what other things might be going on with them outside of work, and remind yourself of the time he/she saved you in a past presentation.
We are so quick to judge.
To place blame.
To jump on the bandwagon.
Instead of to comfort.
To support.
To encourage.
Don't forget all the things that they did right. Be someone who lifts up, not one who puts down.
I get this.
I sooo get this.
Sometimes I wonder if we have too many options in life. Whether it's the choices on the menu at a restaurant, the color of nail polish at the salon, or choosing a career... it seems like the options are endless. And while the freedom to choose is wonderful, it can often be quite overwhelming. It can be overwhelming if we think of making a choice as being the final word, as if there is no room for error or an option to change down the line. Almost as if we need to lock in our answer and live with it forever.
But rarely is that ever true. At least for me, it hasn't.
When I started college, I was a marketing major. I *knew* what I wanted out of life (work for an advertising firm and live in a loft apartment in Atlanta so that I could host awesome dinner parties with friends). The dream was there and real. But not realistic. What came to be real was an Economics course that I didn't care anything about and the reality of having to take more business classes instead of just creative marketing classes.
At the same time, I happened upon an Intro Psychology course and nailed it.
The next semester, I changed my major.
In graduate school, I did my first internship in the school system which was preparing me to continue toward an Education Specialist degree in School Psychology. I loved it. I thought this was the way to help kids. All I needed was one more semester of internship to graduate (which had to be in a clinic-setting) and I would begin my new degree program that fall. Application sent in. Acceptance letter received. Classes chosen.
My second semester of internship was where I fell in love with therapy.
I never started the Education Specialist degree program.
There are always going to be options in our lives. Some of them may seem more exciting than others... more anxiety-provoking... some more comfortable. But we eventually have to make a choice and start. For if we never start, we won't ever find out how well we are at adapting to our situations. Learning about ourselves. Finding our passion.
And the best news? You aren't locked in to your decisions for the rest of your life. If you make a choice and don't like it, it's okay to change your mind. You can change your job, you can move to a new state, you can get out of a bad relationship, you can apologize and repair a relationship, you can make mistakes and move forward.
You just have to start.
I remember having a small pillow when I was little that I kept with my dolls. If I remember correctly, it was just the perfect size for them, more like a decorative pillow than something functional for a girl. The words "bloom where you are planted" were hand-embroidered it by my mom. All these years later, whenever I hear that phrase, I think of the little pillow.
Throughout life, there are times when we wish we were somewhere different. Wanting to escape from our realities. Whether because of unhappiness, anxiety, or frustration, we find ourselves wanting our life situations to be changed. In an instant.
A different job.
A different relationship.
A different city.
Thinking that by escaping or changing the scenery, things within us might be changed. And while that may be the case at times, we can't run away from everything. Sometimes it's important to stay rooted and face the issue. And in the process, we bloom.
We learn things about ourselves that we never did before. We learn to communicate our needs. We learn to be assertive. To budget finances better. To cook for ourselves. To engage in self-care. To spend time alone. To find balance. To meet new people. To change a flat tire. To do things that are new and scary and empowering.
All because we stayed.
Because we rooted.
And in the end, we will bloom.
Existing.
The day in, day out, mundane stuff of life.
Over and over again.
There's got to be more.
Do you ever wonder to yourself if there's more to life than thinking about bills, scheduling life around work or which kid needs to go to which practice? When is the last time you relaxed... slept in... had fun? In the midst of life and responsibilities (which, I'm not saying are not important, because they absolutely are) it's also important to remember to ENJOY life. Who cares that you are making a name for yourself at your company if your kids are forgetting your name at home. Who cares that you make money if you aren't ever able to spend any of it with your loved ones.
Do more than just exist.
Love.
Live.
And do both to their fullest.
