A good cry.

I always find it amazing (and truly foreign) when people tell me that they are ashamed to cry. As an avid crier, I think it's something very healthy. To me, there is truth in tears. There is reflection in tears. There is healing in tears. I can't tell you the number of times the words "I'm sorry" follow a floodgate of tears opening in my office. Apologizing for crying? Nonsense! Sometimes I forget that other people view expressing emotions differently than I do.

This morning in therapy, a young woman I've been seeing admitted that she'd had a breakdown yesterday. Someone had asked her a question, and it was too overwhelming. Tears welled up, and flowed. For hours she said.

She was unprepared.
She didn't know how to deal.
She told herself to stop.
She told herself she had no reason to cry.

There's always a reason.

She told herself to suck it up.
She told herself there are more important things going on.
She told herself to stop.

In processing the issue farther, she explained that she has been reminded of "everything that I've gone through". Which can certainly hurt. We talked about the changes she's made through therapy. We talked about facing challenges instead of running from them. We talked about making healthy choices. We talked about being happy.

What began as a berating session about crying turned into an illustration of the importance of feeling cleansed by tears. Of feeling our feelings... not denying them. Of giving ourselves permission to fall apart, and learning how to put ourselves back together. Of reflecting how much change really has occurred over the past year, not just what still seems to be broken.

Crying often happens when we're at a breaking point. When we can't take anymore that life throws at us. It is when we lay everything out there that we can search and figure out what's working... and what isn't. It is when we are willing to be vulnerable to ourselves that we figure out what we really want.

Crying is healthy.
Crying brings clarity.
Crying leads to healing.