Recovery.

Today is National Alcohol Awareness Day. I haven't shared with many people about my journey in working with clients who have substance abuse issues, and figured that it would be just a good day as any to take an opportunity to share my walk.

People joke and say that people who become therapists aim to fix themselves or their family members. While I wouldn't say that was true for me (honestly, this whole therapy thing was a Higher Power decision and not a Kelly decision) I would be remiss to not mention that my family has its fair share of history in the mental health and substance abuse department. It deeply impacted my adolescent years, and to this day I have boundaries up because of the behaviors of some family members.

Even with a Master's degree under my belt, the impact of substance abuse didn't hit me (like a ton of bricks) until I was working and began seeing my first substance abuse client. I fought tooth and nail to give her to another therapist. I ranted about substance abuse being a choice and mentally siding with her family members who were at their wit's end. Empty promises. Progress and back-sliding. 

All of this before I got to know my client.
I had preconceived thoughts.
I had beliefs that impacted my care.

And then I listened.
I listened to a story of pain unfold.

Of loss.
Of regret.
Of depression.
Of internal suffering.
Of guilt and shame.

I realized that I was wearing grey colored glasses around her. I was another pointing finger. Another "how could you" voice.

Her story, her journey, our experience in therapy together completely changed me. My eyes were open to her pain. My ears heard the pleas of earnest effort to forget. To drown misery with misery. I've never viewed a client with substance abuse issues the same since. Over the years I have clients ask me if I have a history of substance abuse, oftentimes it being a defense for them not to open up with me. They think I'm unable to help without first-hand knowledge, but I encourage them to stick around for a bit before making a judgment (that same judgment that I had made). More recently, I had a client in group ask me the same question, to which I gave my reply of first-hand experience not being the only way we can share knowledge. After class was over I pulled him aside and asked him why that information was important. I will never forget his answer.

"You treat us like you've been there before, and have hope for our futures."

Two days in my career... both were game-changers. If you, or someone you know, has been impacted by problematic drinking behaviors, I encourage you to seek help. Not everyone needs hospitalization, it might just be that you need a non-judgmental ear to listen and a neutral person to process thoughts and feelings with along the way. Keeping focus on healthy behaviors and addressing the skeletons in your closet is the only way to make this journey successful. While perusing the internet this morning, I found this list of 12 stupid things that can mess up recovery. I had a little chuckle at first, and realized I've had several conversations about quite a few on here.