Others.

Sometimes I surprise myself with insight, and other times I laugh at myself in hindsight when I realize the incredibly immature way I handle things in life. I wonder if other people are like this... almost as if on a see-saw of insight and ignorance.

I recently was in discussion with a client who loves her job and the population of people that she works for, but has a challenging time finding acceptance of the people with whom she works. The focus of the job always seems to be about money rather than quality time, co-workers tend to be negative instead of uplifting, and there is a missing aspect of comradery.

In conversation with this client, I ask her about her job and encourage her to talk about why she enjoys it... helping her to focus on the positives instead of the negatives. It's overwhelmingly obvious that she has a passion for her job and the people that she serves. By the end of our conversation, the focus wasn't on the negative co-workers or the challenging partners... it was on the job. Her service to others.

There are times where it's a challenge not to focus on ourselves... the drama-focused workplace, increased stress of deadlines, or lack of teamwork. There are times when we need to get out of those situations in order to maintain self-preservation, but majority of the time, perhaps we need to ask ourselves this question... "What are you doing for others?" and remind yourself that it's not always about you.

After I ended therapy that evening, I drove home on auto-pilot. (You know those times when you start driving and end up at your destination in what feels like the blink of an eye?) During that blink, I reviewed so many times recently when I needed to have pulled back and asked myself what I was doing for others instead of focusing on myself and what I wanted. At the busy grocery store, being impatient while being on hold, waiting for a late client, going where a friend wanted to eat instead of being pushy, being short with my husband.

Perhaps if we all asked ourselves "What are you doing for others?" we'd have a more caring world out there.... one focused on mutual understanding and kindness.