Tough conversations.

I remember when I was growing up and feeling conflicted about talking about things with my mom. I'd say that we were always close, but there were some conversations that I agonized about because I wasn't sure how she'd respond. Sometimes, just FACING a person and talking is a challenge... maybe a conversation in the dark would be better. I remember that when certain things happened and I needed to talk to her, but felt anxious about doing so, I'd write her a letter. Somehow, having an opportunity to get out my thoughts and feelings without having to worry about a disappointed face (or worse, a disappointing comment) made it easier. In addition, she'd have an opportunity to read all of my thoughts and then collect her own before either answering me, or approaching me for discussion.

I find that in my adult life, there are times when that agony still hits. Without the benefit of a simple letter exchange conversation, I've had to work on emotional control and mentally preparing for the ways in which conversations can go. I also find that if I don't have the conversation, I'm tormented by it on a daily basis... most often at night when trying to go to bed. 

There are times when we all need reminding that difficult topics enter our lives, and that we have to face them. And sometimes, the more challenging it is to figure out how to talk about it, the more important it is to have the conversation. Whether it's to clear the air about a disagreement, to ask forgiveness, to seek clarity in relationships, or to sever them.

So much of the time, when I look back on those difficult conversations, I realize that hardly ever did the talk go worse than I'd imagined in my mind. Most often, I was met with understanding and clarity. The air was cleared, the emotions not nearly as disturbing as I'd worked it up to be. Refreshing, almost.

If you're being tormented with thoughts and fears, and wish for clarity... take the chance. Maybe it starts by a draft e-mail (don't send it) and for you to sit on it for a bit. Sometimes, writing out our thoughts help us to process things on our own without the need for feedback. Or perhaps it would help to have the conversation first with someone who is supportive and neutral to your situation. Whatever your method for preparation, take the chance.