No.

I used to be a people pleaser (some people who know me might still characterize me as such). Getting "the look" from my mom when I was little would send me into a tailspin of tears.

I hate disappointing people and hurting their feelings.

But what happens when my feelings get hurt?

What do I do about that?

No one ever told me that there is a fine line between helping others, and neglecting the self. I had to figure that out for myself. A few years into my therapy career, a co-worker of mine shared this little bit of wisdom that completely changed my viewpoint on the word NO. I'd like to share it with you today.

The word NO is an acronym. It stands for Not Obligated.

I am not obligated to do things for people if I don't have the time. Or if I don't have the money. Or if I simply do not want to. And I don't have to give a reason for it. I don't need to develop an excuse for it, or promise that the next time they need something done that I'll be their gal. It means no, plain and simple... move along to the next person please.

The downfall of being a people pleaser is that other people get used to using you. Granted, they may not do it on purpose or do so maliciously. But they know that you'll say yes. So they ask. And because you will feel guilty, you will say yes. You put your needs and wants to the back burner. They deserve to be at the front.

Rather than saying yes to everything, wouldn't it be nice to be able to do the things you really enjoy and to be able to do them with a full heart... to be able to accept an offer with excitement and look forward to giving as much of yourself into an opportunity, instead of feeling that you are spread too thin in work, church, the community, or in relationships?

Do you need to say no today, so that you can say yes more often?