Belonging.

Did you know that the desire to belong is an innate characteristic of people and most animals? We're so driven to belong that we do some pretty wacky things at times in order to fit in. To me, belonging means that I am part of something, mostly participating in relationships with other people.

But if I'm not authentic... if I am fake or wear a mask and pretend to be someone I'm not... it's not going to work. At least not in the long run. Sure, people may think that I'm confident, willing to take risks, and out-going. They'll see what I want them to see in order to initially be accepted. When the newness of relationships wear off, though, where will things stand?

When I'm going through a challenge, when my moods are down, when I feel as though there's no one to reach out to... how will people react to me when I'm imperfect? How will they respond when I become vulnerable and real? If at first I pretend to be someone I'm not, eventually my facade falls away, and my true colors show. My lack of confidence will show, my worry about the future will show, the truth about my past will show.

And I may no longer belong.

But.

If I work on my self-acceptance, being okay with who I am... enjoying my own company... understanding that I don't have it all together (and that's alright), my desire to fit in with others so eagerly might not be that important anymore. It may not be as important as being happy with myself. Again, I know that I will always have a desire to belong, and when that happens I really enjoy it, but that doesn't have to define me. Whether I am accepted into a cliche, a team at work, or in a relationship doesn't define me as being happy or sad with myself.