Keep calm.

Last week I shared my thoughts on maintaining your sanity during the holiday season. I'd like to offer a few ideas on how you can cope with the holidays and deal with your thoughts and feelings about the season in a healthy way. If you feel guilty for saying no to someone, consider ways in which the time you do have can be used for useful tasks. If you are missing a loved one this holiday season, donate something in their memory to an organization of your choice (i.e. a sweater that your father would have loved to a local nursing home).

Here are some other things that might help…

  

- Escape yourself. Help others by adopting a family, filling an Operation Christmas Child shoe box, or visit a shut-in from your church congregation. Getting out of your own head for a while will be good for you.

- Stop the unhealthy thoughts. Find healthy distractions when you are ruminating on negative things. Read a good book, watch a Hallmark movie, work on a puzzle, or write a letter to a friend.

- Enjoy traditions. Even if things have changed over the years, consider ways that you can hold true to the traditions you find meaningful in your life. Or, create new traditions for you and your family.

- Stay in community. Stay involved with others instead of isolating to yourself. Dealing with the holidays can generate feelings of depression and feelings of anxiety. Despite the urge to pull away, encouraging yourself to stay involved with others will be helpful in reducing your negative thoughts and feelings.

- Ask for what you need. Since mind reading is an impossible art, your friends and family aren’t going to know how you feel or attend to your needs if you don’t clearly communicate with them. If you are overwhelmed with the thought of hosting Christmas dinner, ask a family member to help cook food to lighten your load. If you know that you’ll be asked 496 times about why you haven’t found a good man to marry, consider wearing a shirt that says “Single and Lovin' It” (I’m only kidding… sort of).

The key to the holiday season, for me, is to maintain my positive thoughts. When I get worked up in trying to find the perfect gift... trying to find the perfect outfit to wear at the Christmas party... trying to make the perfect dessert for Thanksgiving... I lose sight of what the holidays are about. The holidays aren't about STUFF. The holidays are about people. Nurturing relationships, communing together, and laughing until our bellies hurt. In order to keep that spirit alive, I need to be mindful of ways to avoid stress, to keep calm, and to enjoy the season to its fullest.