Raising daughters.

I love reading blogs of other people. I have a list of about 6-8 I read on a regular basis. Some I check out everyday, and others I get marathon dose of every week or so. I think what I enjoy so much is reading about people and their lives... whether its personal sharing, providing tips and tricks for maintaining home life, sharing artistic material... I feel like by reading their words it's like a personal conversation I'm having with them about life. Well, at least the good blogs make me feel that way. :)

I read a blog recently that linked THIS  blog post from the Good Men Project, a website dedicated to open conversation about what it's like to be a man in the 21st century... the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's actually a really interesting website, and I was surprised to find myself lingering around for more than just this one blog post.

At any rate, I love this post. A list of 25 rules for dads who are raising daughters. I guess it pulled me in for a number of reasons. Perhaps I wish my own father would have read this way back when. Perhaps it's for the dads (okay, one dad) who may be reading this blog. Perhaps it's for the moms who read this and who can pass it along to their partners. Perhaps it's for me, and to understand that even though my childhood wasn't typical, my mom taught me these same things...

My favorites are below. I hope you'll take time to read the entire list using the link above.

1. Tell her she’s pretty, but tell her other good things about herself more. It’s not that telling a girl she’s pretty is bad. It’s not. The point is that it shouldn’t be the only kind of compliment she gets, so she doesn’t feel that only her appearance matters. Compliment her intelligence, her resourcefulness, her imagination, her hard work, and her strength. Don’t pretend that her looks will never matter, but teach her not to judge herself or let herself be judged only on looks.

2. Teach her that handymen don’t have to be men. Checklist of things to teach her: routine car maintenance, how to stop a toilet from overflowing, how to set a mousetrap, how to use the fuse box, how to turn off the water main. There’s nothing wrong with needing help to get things done, but self-reliance and confidence are handy if you need to change a tire, fix a toilet, or even squish a bug without needing a rescuer to do it for you.

3. Teach her honesty and integrity in relationships by demonstrating them in yours. “Honesty and integrity in relationships” doesn’t mean blind devotion. It means living a life consistent with the values you hold dear, and helping the people you love to live consistent with theirs. Live the integrity you hope she’ll choose for herself. 

4. Teach her about male sexuality without fear-mongering. It’s tempting to tell her that boys are bad, that sex is evil and that guys only want one thing… But we know from the last 50 years of Sex Education that this tactic simply doesn’t work, and it damages both boys and girls in the process. Girls learn to fear boys and see them as one-dimensional, or they learn that their parents have been lying all along. Teach her that respect is key, and both boys and girls deserve it and are able to give it.

5. Look her in the eyes and have a real conversation at least once every single day that you’re together. Even if it’s just about My Little Pony or Justin Bieber.