Serenity.

I'm the first to admit that I like control. I like knowing what is going to happen. And despite loving the thrill of being spontaneous and enjoying surprises, I like being able to plan.

Too bad life doesn't see things the way I do.

The Serenity Prayer is the cornerstone to all of my therapy. It is the most powerful tool, in my opinion, to assist clients in their growth process. To help them see things with a different perspective. To understand the limits of our control. When I was still working at the hospital, talking about the Serenity Prayer was my favorite group. Of. All. Time. Writing it up on my dry erase board... dissecting the words of the prayer to gain better understanding... engaging in discussion on whether people can apply these words with/without religious beliefs... encouraging clients to differentiate the vast amount of things in their life that they might need to accept versus what they can change.

What the Serenity Prayer tells me is this...

1. I can't do everything on my own.
2. I need to be okay with (not like or understand or embrace) the things that I have no control over.
3. I don't have control over a LOT of things. In fact, everything outside of me is an uncontrollable.
4. I need to be aware of things I can control.
5. The only things I can control are my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
6. I don't need to waste my time on anything else.

Sure, we'll need coping skills... because even though you can't control my husband, it doesn't mean you don't have to deal with him every day. Even though you can't stand my boss or annoying coworkers, it doesn't mean you don't have to find a way to be around them. Even though you have financial problems, it doesn't mean you don't have to be responsible. Even though some really bad things have happened to you in the past, doesn't mean that is a free ticket for not making healthy choices for yourself now.

The Serenity Prayer, for me, is a reflection on personal responsibility. Gaining awareness into what I do have control over. And, as a control freak, it helps me to know that even in a world where I might sometimes feel incredible small.... I have control over my thoughts. My feelings. And my behaviors. And sometimes, that's enough for me.