Alone.

 

Some people crave relationships, and need them.

Others enjoy relationships, and want them.
There is a difference.

A long time ago, I remember doing a group on health relationships. I don't know why the CHEEZIEST phrase came to mind, but it did. "I have to be a healthy 'me' before I can be part of a healthy 'we'." As much as it makes me want to roll my eyes, it has so much truth to it.

If I want to attract healthy people... healthy being solid in emotions, thinking, boundary-setting, etc... I need to be that way myself. If I am struggling with emotional manipulation or dramatic thinking, the only people who will be attracted to me will be others who identify with those traits or those who feed off of them. Until I can get myself together, embracing who I am as an individual, I'm not really good for anyone else. I need opportunities to make decisions based on my thoughts and feelings, need chances to make mistakes and learn how to overcome them on my own, need to understand my worth as an individual and not part of a couple.

Only then.

Only then can I truly be prepared to feel comfortable enough within myself to believe that I don't need a relationship to make or keep me happy, but that a relationship would enhance the happiness I already have.