Last week I was given some pretty difficult news as a therapist. A client I had worked with for an extended period of time a while back passed away, and I couldn't help reflect on our work together and wonder if I had done everything I could do to help him. Deep down, I knew that I gave it my all, but there was that brief moment of "what if" that plagued me for a bit.
One of the interesting things about working for the hospital is that I never had an opportunity to see things through with clients I worked with... I put a band-aid on their psychological gunshot wound, and sent them on their way, hoping that they followed up their their aftercare plan for therapy and medication management. One of the things that I love about private practice is that I AM the aftercare plan. I am the follow-up, and have the opportunity to see the plan through.
The night after hearing the horrible news of my previous client's passing, I found this quote on Pinterest. And if I'm honest, I had myself a good cry. A cry for the therapist in me who always strives to leave people better than I find them. A cry for the individual that I am who struggles with realizing that I can't change things beyond my control.
I remember when I first became a therapist and a client had to be hospitalized. I cried and cried about it. My supervisor at the time told me that everyone has client "firsts"... and that each first is a career lesson that will make me a better therapist. That first taught me the importance of setting boundaries in therapy. I guess that this first taught me something too... to leave clients better then I find them.
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