Never let them go.

Can I just say that this is the BEST kind of relationship?! It doesn't happen often, but when it does I want to suffocate it. And I used to. Which was my downfall. I literally never let them go because I was so afraid that if I ever did, I'd lose it. I'd lose them.... that person.

That whole "healthy relationship" thing suggests that you have boundaries and understand that people have to spend time apart... that you have realistic expectations, long-term gratification, and honest communication.

No matter what kind of relationship I'm in, I remember that healthy relationships are built on the premise that I am a complete person myself. And that the other person is a complete person themselves. But that we do some pretty cool stuff together too. Which makes it fun when we're together because we can share and learn and grow from one another's experiences. It means that it's okay if we don't talk every.single.second of the day. It means that it's okay if you hang out with another group of people without me (and that it's okay if I do the same without you).

If the relationships* that you are in with other people right now don't sound familiar to that, I might be able to paint a picture of what they look like...

Relationship #1: Imagine two circles next to one another. They aren't touching. They aren't anywhere near each other. That's you and the person you are in a relationship with. You do your thing. They do their thing. You don't really do anything together. It's not that you dislike the other person, but you just don't have anything in common. Both people want to get along with a minimum amount of involvement, expectation, and pain.

Relationship #2: Imagine two circles inside of one another (kind of like a target). They are consumed in one another. These two people in relationships do everything together, but don't really share any substance. They might meet each other's needs, but do so in unhealthy ways (instant gratification, merged boundaries, isolated social life).

Healthy relationships look a bit like this in circle-land: Imagine two circles. Two circles that overlap slightly. The overlapping part is where our shared interests are. It could be that we both love cupcakes, or that you can't image life without Disney musicals either, but that you just don't have any interest in sewing or glitter. Let's not even talk about the list of things that bore me about your life... ;)

What matters is that when you find yourself in healthy relationships, and with those magical people who just "get you"... your world opens up to laughing until your stomach hurts. Until your face wants to crack in two from smiling so much. Until your heart has so much love in it that it overflows with happiness. 

Never let them go.

*Relationship styles description based on Claudia Black (www.claudiablack.com) who is by FAR one of the most incredible therapists in the world!!!