Defense.

If you've ever been to a football game, chances are you have seen a sign like this being held up by fans as their team was being encouraged to defend their position on the field. In life, we defend our positions at times... when we are reluctant to change, when we don't like how things are going, when we are stuck.

Defense mechanisms.

Defense mechanisms are coping skills that we use to "help" us feel better in times of stress and crisis that appear to be helpful. We think that these behaviors or ways of thinking protect our self-esteem or help us resolve emotional discomfort... it's like we put a wall up between ourselves and the problem. At times we may be oblivious to our behaviors as if our wall is an invisible force-field that keeps us inside our own torture zone, while other times we are very aware of our choices and we build a brick wall between us and freedom.

Here are some examples of defense mechanisms and ways that each may play out in real life. While the scenarios I give may not be applicable to everyone's situation, I am sure that you can think of your own examples. I submit that we all engage in avoiding reality from time to time.

Displacement -- diverting emotional feelings from an original source to a substitute target -- ex. being angry at your boss, but going home and yelling at your spouse
Rationalization -- creating excuses to justify behavior -- Having someone break up with you, and telling your friends "I didn't like him anyway"
Denial -- protecting yourself from reality by refusing to face it -- someone who drinks excessively refusing to believe their behavior is problematic despite several others expressing concern
Compensation -- striving to make up for inadequacies -- a person's competitiveness might make up for their true feelings of inferiority


The reality of using defense mechanisms to cope with issues in our lives is that our problems don't go away when we avoid them... often times, they magnify.